Statement: I have just overcome the loneliest week I do believe I have ever had.
If I were in a bible class right now I would say "let's unpack that:"
I had lived here and there. Sometimes I have known people, sometimes I haven't. Why would the first week back at school while there are so many activities to be involved in and people to get reconnected with be the loneliest?
I have a strong sense of accomplishment. Trust me, this week wasn't fun and a lot of crying was involved but I have overcome and am happily starting the second week of school. I blame part of it on deciding not to unload my car for a week. (very unsettled feeling). I knew this year would hold many new challenges, and I often look forward to learning more about myself and my God. It seems that when you finally think you have mastered one topic or lesson it's time to move on even when I don't feel ready. Instead, I'd like to sit in my accomplishment for a few day and feel good before taking the next blow. In my life, God says, "okay good, you finally understand. Now it's time to work on this" and the process repeats itself.
Somewhat unrelated, then again very much related:
I am very tired of attempting to void myself of emotion. I think that most people would believe that women are more emotional. I would agree in most cases (I know there are some exceptions). I spend most of my time with guys and as time goes on this is more and more the case. The school I attend is majority guys, the classes and the degree I am pursuing is almost entirely male, and the places I have worked have been majority male dominate. This is not bad but something that needs to be addressed especially to those also in a male dominated environment. It is vital that I (and you in a masculine environment) understand what it means to be a woman. We have things to offer that can come from no other place, the world would be lacking without us. I've learned a lot about this subject since I've been at Letu, if you would like to hear what I have to say please come talk to me.
I, of course, am still learning. Lately I have to remind myself that emotion is not bad. It is actually very good. It is also okay to show emotion. It does not mean you are weak. As for me, I have learned that sitting down and talking to someone when you need to get stuff off your chest isn't wasting their (or your) time. It is a healthy this to do. Not telling people how you feel and just putting on a fake smile is dishonest. Next time someone asks you how you are...tell them the truth.
